Sunday, January 24, 2010
How to Survive a Septic Situation
Discover leaking water in basement closet.
Clear out closet and set buckets under drips.
Discover brown, murky water backing up in tubs and showers.
Attempt to flush toilets.
Try to remedy situation with plunger and coat hanger.
Declare toilets, showers, laundry and dishwashers Off Limits.
Ignore Looks of Disbelief and Cries of Dismay from family.
Try to reach plumber on Saturday night.
Try another plumber.
Grant permission for son to pee outside.
Ignore son's Whoops of Joy.
Shut off water to house.
Break out paper plates.
Set up emergency toilet, using bucket and trash bags. And duct tape.
Secretly believe MacGyver would be proud.
Send 8-year-old out to the garden spigot to fetch water.
Repeat as needed.
Wait near phone for 24 hours, Just In Case plumber returns call.
Break news that son can't take Weekly Bath.
Ignore additional Whoops of Joy.
Threaten to hose off said son outside.
Consider feeling Put-out and Inconvenienced.
Feel grateful for warm house and soft bed.
Give Thanks for food and family.