Monday, October 12, 2009

Wolf Man


I stopped by the gym this morning to try to ease myself back into exercising. It is a small gym, in a community center and it's free. Since there are no membership fees or contracts, it attracts a unique (thrifty?) group of people, like me and April. But this morning it was just me and Wolf Man.

I was working on some free weights when a man walked in. Older than me, slight build, long hair. Gym etiquette requires an acknowledgment of other exercisers, perhaps a short nod or a "good morning". But he launched into a conversation about the Zombies in the park last night. Since I was the only other person in the room, I felt compelled to converse back, although I kept my answers short and became very interested in what I was doing. After he saw that I wasn't going to stop and give him my attention, he snatched up some 1 lb weights and started dancing around in front of the mirror, saying things like, "Whew! This is a good work out!" I inched farther away.

Then he struck a pose in the mirror and growled, "GRRRRR....wolf!" I put down the weights and fled walked to the elliptical machine, which was a respectable distance away. Pretty soon he came over and started messing with the machine next to me. It is a strange little contraption, with a stool and a V-shaped track with orange handles. I have no idea what it does - I always avoid it so I won't embarrass myself.

Wolf Man had no idea either, but that didn't stop him. "Huh, a stool," he remarked. I just kept exercising, pretending I was too winded to talk. Ok, I wasn't pretending much. "And some handles." He grabbed the machine and tilted it up off of the ground so the V was pointing to the ground. "Dive, dive! Going down 1000 feet." Then he started PINGing and making various mechanical noises. Suddenly he pushed a red button on the side of the machine. "Boom! That's what a 50 caliber sounds like when it hits the side of a house." Machine gun noises followed.

Ooookay........

I wasn't too concerned for my safety since I had about 30 lbs on the guy and I take martial arts. All he had was a strange piece of exercise equipment. And an invisible submarine. I'll take those odds any day. My overall impression was that this guy was harmless. A little stoned maybe, but not physically threatening.

But, I was done at that point so I snatched up my stuff and booked it out of there. I heard him call after me, "Thank you. It was a good workout!"

Maybe next time I'll try to use the Mystery Machine. Somehow, the embarrassment factor is not really an issue anymore. :)

Thanks, Wolf Man.

5 comments:

idreamicanfly said...

Ha! I just love those people that make me realize that I'm totally, completely, and utterly normal. And Krav, of course, for keeping me calm around the weirdos...

Mama Pea said...

First of all, glad to hear that you're feeling well enough to get back to doing some exercise.

Secondly, you're a little braver than I am when faced with a skinny stoned fella at the helm of an invisible submarine.

(I sure did get a chuckle or two over your relating of the incident though.)

Camie | Red Gate Gardens said...

Wow. Hmm. I'm speechless. I'm almost afraid to ask this, but what was he wearing? Richard Simmons bike shorts and a fishnet tank top? 'Cause that would have sent me over the edge into the Abyss of Uncontrollably Nervous Laughter.

There's a guy (think black, coarse, abundant hair - he'd put Robin Williams to shame) at a local gym who waxes everything (he's announced it), except his knuckles...and he misses some straggling back hairs every once in a while. He looks like a Troll.

I'm thinking I need to be looking into Krav Maga, as it seems to give those in the know a sense of self-confidence in self-preservation that I just don't have. I think I would have gone screaming out into the street...

Alisa said...

Those people make the gym time go all that much quicker! Even if it is just because we are cutting our routine down to escape!

MrsMama said...

You guys make me smile! :)