Wolf Man

I stopped by the gym this morning to try to ease myself back into exercising. It is a small gym, in a community center and it's free. Since there are no membership fees or contracts, it attracts a unique (thrifty?) group of people, like me and April. But this morning it was just me and Wolf Man.

I was working on some free weights when a man walked in. Older than me, slight build, long hair. Gym etiquette requires an acknowledgment of other exercisers, perhaps a short nod or a "good morning". But he launched into a conversation about the Zombies in the park last night. Since I was the only other person in the room, I felt compelled to converse back, although I kept my answers short and became very interested in what I was doing. After he saw that I wasn't going to stop and give him my attention, he snatched up some 1 lb weights and started dancing around in front of the mirror, saying things like, "Whew! This is a good work out!" I inched farther away.

Then he struck a pose in the mirror and growled, "GRRRRR....wolf!" I put down the weights and fled walked to the elliptical machine, which was a respectable distance away. Pretty soon he came over and started messing with the machine next to me. It is a strange little contraption, with a stool and a V-shaped track with orange handles. I have no idea what it does - I always avoid it so I won't embarrass myself.

Wolf Man had no idea either, but that didn't stop him. "Huh, a stool," he remarked. I just kept exercising, pretending I was too winded to talk. Ok, I wasn't pretending much. "And some handles." He grabbed the machine and tilted it up off of the ground so the V was pointing to the ground. "Dive, dive! Going down 1000 feet." Then he started PINGing and making various mechanical noises. Suddenly he pushed a red button on the side of the machine. "Boom! That's what a 50 caliber sounds like when it hits the side of a house." Machine gun noises followed.

Ooookay........

I wasn't too concerned for my safety since I had about 30 lbs on the guy and I take martial arts. All he had was a strange piece of exercise equipment. And an invisible submarine. I'll take those odds any day. My overall impression was that this guy was harmless. A little stoned maybe, but not physically threatening.

But, I was done at that point so I snatched up my stuff and booked it out of there. I heard him call after me, "Thank you. It was a good workout!"

Maybe next time I'll try to use the Mystery Machine. Somehow, the embarrassment factor is not really an issue anymore. :)

Thanks, Wolf Man.